Cultural lols

Did you know: maintaining contact with someone in a higher position than you in Asia is considered rude? The correct response when someone with authority talks with you is to lower your gaze, so often I will see the youth and those with a low position walk around work or school all day with their heads down.

Not me however.
There are some things that years of Western upbringing engraves into your skull, and eye contact is one of them. 
It's something I've not be able to train myself out of. When met with a person of higher authority than myself, my natural reaction is to drop everything and stare deep into their soul (totally wrote "Seoul" first. Dammit Korea).

Having an English-sort of upbringing, I've always been made to maintain eye-contact at all costs; showing that you are paying full attention to the conversation and thus being respectful. However, here it leads to some awkwardness.
I'll give you an example: The head teacher in my school is a lovely man, but whenever he comes to talk to me, as well as the poor man having to scrape together all the English he's learnt over the years, he is faced with the following:

Understandably, he isn't sure where to look.

Another thing I've had difficulty with is eating out.
You probably presume that - Korea being an Asian country with hierarchy and traditions that I would struggle with keeping up when dining. WELL YOU ARE WRONG SIR!
Before coming to Korea I studied their etiquette, so I'm actually very familiar with how I should be acting. I say should, because it seems any time I do I am seen as being 'uptight' and 'old-fashioned.' And even when I ease up with the old-style Korean eating, I'm let down by my own culture. 
You don't really notice at home, but it's been pointed out to me here that I eat like a cat with a pole up it's ass. Unconsciously my back is straight, my elbows are off the table, I am making as little eating noise as possible and I don't talk with my mouth full. Meanwhile, I am making those around me uncomfortable.

I run into fun cultural differences a lot here actually, despite having lived here for half a year.
Today - the 14th of March, is known in Korea as "White day." Sadly it's not a day to celebrate the terribly pale and sick-looking, it's actually more like a part 2 to Valentines day. 
Essentially, in Korea Valentines day is a day for girls to give candy and chocolate to boys. White day is where boys return (or don't return...) the affection by giving the girls something white, for example; a white teddy bear or bracelet.
So, I started today in the usual way. Go to school, prepare materials and such. Throughout the day I am swamped with pleas from children for candy ("No! Do I look like a man to you?! Boys! Where is my candy?! No love for teacher?!"). I enter the 4th grade class - my last class today, and a boy runs up to the board, draws three X's, giggles and runs back to his seat. A little puzzled, I question him on his actions:

"Oh. What is this? Chan-Hyeok, do you know what X means in English?"

To which he replies:

"Something bad!! Like... a boy's thing!" followed by him pointing to his crotch and the class erupting (including myself. That shit's hilarious). 
I took the time to inform him:

"No, no. Actually in English, an X is a kiss. Are these three for me? Is it because it's white day?"
To which his classmates responded by taking the complete piss out of him for the rest of the class. Embarrassing children has somewhat become a hobby of mine...

This sort of mishap is known as "Engrish" or, more specifically to Korea "Konglish" - where an English word, abbreviation or letter is taken and used incorrectly. Actually, I've had to become rather fluent in Konglish, especially when ordering in a restaurant or cafe. It would seem that even if the word was originally western, unless it is said Korean style I may as well be shouting at them in scientific jargon.